Human: Fall Flat is billed as a puzzle game about physics. Coupled with its seriously dramatic soundtrack you'd be forgiven for thinking this game was made in some humourless Eastern European country where their idea of fun is... dunno, trapping squirrels in buckets. I don't know where it was made, to be honest. It's not important because it turns out that Human: Fall Flat is possibly the best split screen experience on Nintendo's hit hybrid console, the Switch. submitted by
It's probably available on other older formats such as the Playstation but quirky indie games are better on Switch. Everything is better on Switch. Apart from FIFA. I don't actually play football games even though I am a big football fan. Even now I'm getting excited for today's Merseyside Derby. I hope Liverpool win. It really depresses me when they lose. Much more than it should. It's only a game, right. I think Mo Salah is great. I love his smile. It's strange. I wonder how many people actually realise he's a Muslim? There are a lot of racists in the UK. Voting for Brexit. And yet come match day they're cheering on all races. Ignorant. That's what they are. Yeah. Sadio Mane might be a Muslim too. I wish they could reverse Brexit somehow.
Anyway, what I couldn't reverse was my purchase of Human: Fall Flat. And I did try. I attempted getting an eShop refund after downloading it because the initial experience when playing this game is one of pure disgust.
When a game is billed as being about physics it's natural to expect something which would control real good. However the physics in this game are bad physics, not good physics. Your character, who you can customise, controls like a pile of cushions.
A brief note about the customisation. I went for the French policeman look. Which is a regular policeman with a moustache but there are many options.
There is no story in this game. The aim is to get to the next bit. Which generally involves finding a door to go through. There are the standard four worlds which have become somewhat of a cliché in gaming. Trainyard, construction site, commercial sea port and Aztec.
I think 93% of players will throw this game in the trash upon getting to the first door in the trainyard. I don't need this shit in my life, they will think. It's hard to blame them. I nearly did the same but with Christmas coming up, and money a finite resource, I decided to stick with it. I didn't buy Bitcoins like that guy on the computer game forum I go to did. The thing is that guy was an idiot. I remember pitying him when he first bought Bitcoins. Bitcoins. Sounded like the stupidest thing ever. Who would buy them? It's just luck that they're now really valuable. I see it as a way of rewarding stupid people which I don't think is great. People will now start investing in all manner of ridiculousness. Anyway, the guy with the Bitcoins, though he's now rich, he's not that bright and will probably waste his new found wealth. Or sit in a big mansion like Notch. That guy who made Minecraft. He's gone mental. Notch has. See him on Twitter? Money is not the be all and end all but still I decided to get my money's worth from Human: Fall Flat and I'm glad I did.
Just beyond the point where many will rage quit this game it starts to become good. Then it becomes really good. And when you play it split screen with a spouse, neighbour, the child from down the road or in my case, your own child then this game becomes really great and it's hard to explain why but explain why hardly I shall.
When playing a game we're used to controlling some kind of super human avenging gymnast. Mario, for example. And while we'd say Mario controls brilliantly there's nothing human about his movements. If you've ever blocked your toilet by trying to flush away evidence of that broken unicorn money box you accidentally smashed while trying to find some money for a postage stamp so you could send away for that meditation tape then you'll know the plumber who arrives doesn't triple jump from his van. No. He'll lumber from his van and rob you. Tradesman are all theives.
And perhaps that is what makes Human: Fall Flat so great. When trying to leap from platform to platform your character doesn't do it like Link does. With a side flip flourish. Oh no. In this game you need to raise both arms, run/waddle to the edge and leap and hope for the best. You often can't even see where you're going. And if you do grab the ledge then pulling yourself up is another mechanism. And then mechanism is great. You sort of pull yourself up, by looking down with the stick, scraping your face along the floor. Just as you would in real life. If you fall in this game you don't lose a life, you just crash back to where you were.
When trying to pick up something heavy in this game it's done as most humans would pick up something heavy. They'd struggle and get squashed under it.
You can control each arm independently. Left trigger = left arm and, well, you know, right trigger etc. Right trigger = right arm. So you soon come to realise that you have enormous control – much more so than in most games – over this character who at first seemed practically uncontrollable.
Throw your son into the mix, as he grabs you and tries to throw you off levels, he doesn't listen to your commands and you think you hear him say a curse word then you have one of the finest slap-stick comedy games ever made. It took us several hours to navigate to the end credits and there was more laughter during those hours than in any other game we've played. I found Mariokart quite dry. Snipperclips was fun for a bit, as was Overcooked. But Human: Fall Flat is fun to just play around in. To experiment around in.
In terms of technical performance the game runs at a fine fps (frames per second). And in split screen it also runs fine though a little less fine.
HUMAN: FALL FLAT SCORES
PROS Fun French policeman The laughter of a child Split screen
CONS Underwhelming opening Chimneys can't be climbed into No voice acting No online
Since I'll stop funposting, I made a selection of my favorite posts.
My first downvotes beyond a few points, completely by mistake. I used to post in much smaller and internet-savy communities in which people were easily able to detect irony and humor, which on reddit would get interpreted as a cringy way of posting. That's what happened here. I was surprised by how the hivemind on reddit worked, so I thought to learn more about it and have fun with it.
Before criticizing it, you have to know that there's a whole fanbase that ships those two and for good reasons. Or rather half of them are good, the other ones are basically "cuz' it's cute/hot". Which isn't too invalid either since appropriation of cultural products are common place, and if you've read major works in literature you should know what I mean, it's basically fanfics of fanfics all the way down. I should add shipping is fun because it uses the basic tension at the heart of any romance, that is, trying to fit together two characters that have some potential chemistry but
also face obstacles because of external factors or individual traits, and Elsa/Anna fits this bill.
Anyway, I digress, the good reasons are that, perhaps by coincidence, Elsa's story can very easily be read as a symbolic story of a coming out. Sure if you aren't used to lesbian media this might seem like over-analyzing, but if you don't want to go down that rabbit hole, just trust me: Frozen in many aspects just looks like it's heavily loaded with subtext. Could be a huge coincidence. But still, it's no wonder a fanbase formed around shipping Anna and Elsa and there was a little while ago people to ask Disney to officially make Elsa a lesbian.
So now, this picture. I could have been good, as it trivializes as much as possible that whole shipping business, almost ironically even. Problem is, it seems to buildup to a punchline, like a really good one, but then instead abruptly ends in the most unimpressive way.
Conflict of interest disclosure: I hold no share in the Elsa/Anna fanbase, I'm just a exterior observer who tried to understand what the heck was going on with all those pictures shipping two girls from a recent Disney movie.
Oh damn, I never thought I'd hear about him again, I know that guy! It was a while ago, I was posting on a now defunct anime RP forum, it had a really great vip section where we could let our imagination actually run wild. See, most RPs fora are pretty restricted in what they allow even just to stay on a certain theme, but there it was a mix of everything crazy, but we could make subcommunities which they called "villages" much like reddit so it kinda sorted itself out. I made a yuri village there because other forums had banned me for ridiculous reasons, and it turned out great, this guy helped me understand how stuff worked there and participated regularity (it's just RP, doesn't matter who you actually are), and I could finally RP with more interesting stuff such as sadism or nonconventional relationships, like, I discovered that some people are shunned because they are supposedly in "abusive" relationships but when you talk to them you realize that's just what they want and they're happy like that, or how some other people are attracted to children and they're not that horrible I mean why discriminate based on age, I also felt attraction to younger girls sometimes and I'm not crazy nor violent it was only really once I squished that bird to death I was young okay I was discovering the world and I taught me how death looked like which we tend to forget in today's oversheltered society we are afraid of the big bad pedophile, the rapist, abusive husbands/wives but it's just fear of the Other, we shame pedophiles or so-called abusive relationships like we once shamed black people so shut the fuck up and stop talking to me through electromagnetic waves about what I do all the time it's wearing me out and that's what made me violent in the past 'kay my cat told me you just relay the devil's messages and it's always given me good advice.
Anyway we really connected and we created incredible stories you'd never read in today's books we dreamed of a freer society were we could be free to experiment at whatever age with our bodies violently or not, and we both new death was just a step in the life of our inner mind, so we were cool about writing about how love and death are like opposite but complementary forces in the universe, we wrote 1M+ words I think. We tried to make people we knew understand and discover this world we were discovering, like other people did in the past but we were rejected and we agreed to meet to discuss how to improve our strategy but he wanted more I told him I didn't like guys romantically but he didn't cared and came with his scalpel he used on him to feel closer to the universe's fundamental principles to try to make me understand even though I told him I wasn't ready for that yet he insisted and thought it was a good idea to teach me his most radical take on pain and tried to slip the scalpel in my pants so I could feel its edge deep inside me but I managed to free myself before he went further than the inner labia and when I woke up from my black out there was blood everywhere and he was lying on the ground so I got the fuck out of there mostly unharmed and got home and finished writing my slash fanfic about Sailor Moon and her mother.
Ha, this thread really takes me back! My teenage years were a wild ride.
An exercise in automatic writing as per the first Manifesto of Surrealism
Hi I'm Veronica and I worked at a glory hole for 1 year to pay my for my chicken nuggets and two macbooks, and I can tell you I know a lot about people who suck. It was my job to screen participants, I've learned how they look. They look like levitating vegetables — potatoes, salad, beans, tomatoes — with weird excrescences and old scars from birds pecking them; they had their brains stolen by the giant plant they were now attached to and dependent upon. As they said "hi Veronica, how are you today?" I couldn't help but shiver, they thought I was pro, I was actually afraid it'd happen to me. I noticed my friends had started looking a little like them, they brain connected to the plant by an almost invisible branch. They say it doesn't exist, but when I try to remove it they get aggressive and say I don't understand and should let them be free.
But they aren't. I routinely look in the mirror to find anything weird, but so far I haven't noticed anything vegetable-like on me. I've noticed children miss this branch in their head. Maybe that means I'm too immature, like my friends say? Yet, I've seen at the glory hole how dangerous the Plant could be: people who sucked and got sucked were sucked into a factory-like process, and the more they went back for more the more they were like the others. Those with the wrong excrescences weren't taylorized, but they Plant still tighten its grip on them until they were vegetables too, albeit weirdly shaped ones. Not to much this, more of that, but no one could actually reach the perfect vegetable form, they were still humans at heart, I could see it beating although they pretended they didn't need one.
This morning I looked into the mirror and saw an abnormal strand of hair. Is that it? Am I going to be like them too? Just after I finally bought some happiness by going to the hair-dresser and got my nails done like my friends advised me — I looked down, but in reality I'm deadly afraid of that Plant, it's eating their lives only to excrete babies and income inequalities. I wonder what my new boyfriend — my first! — would think of that, I don't want to show him i'm also fallen, dirty human.
I tried to streamline #1 and make it so that it can actually get downvoted (-225).
that's real funny, really fitting for /funny
I guess, but you might never now who is reading what you post and what impact in can have on them. Though this one time you'll know: I left my dad's house when I was 15 because I felt his teaching of Wicca wouldnt lead me anywere anymore and I had hidden from my parents for too long who I truly was, as I always made sure to dispose properly of the animals I killed. After wandering in the rural west of the US for weeks (I hitchhiked and found a really nice group of friends who took me without asking questions), I finally found someone who could immediatly see my hidden side and took me as his student in his woods (in retrospect I don't think they were his). In Wicca we don't really deal with darker natural forces, only how to repel them, and I knew I was basically made to ignore what I truly where and this guy taught me that whatever path in life I choose I couldn't progress without giving in at least once to my demonic heritage. Everything went back to me, how at 7 I enjoyed putting a needle through that bird's head, or how me and 19560 — my astral pet cat I found at 10 — laughed when threw red hot iron balls at squirrels, and boy, I actually loved it. The day after he taught me his sex offender and child predator tricks, that asshole pretended he could show me a neat ritual for chanelling sexual energy into spells for greater efficiency, told me to close my eyes and pretended what I'd feel on my cheeks would be a side effect of using more energy than usual but LIKE FUCK DAMN it was his fucking DICK. Long story short, my demonic side took over and he certainly won't have any children. I still learned a lot, got to know myself a lot better and choose the path of love and justice, but that's still a traumatic experience that reminds me of how enjoyable it was to inflict pain to living things, and I don't like that that's no twhat i want i choose another path.
Anyway, be careful about what you say, it can be hurtful and dangerous.
An exercise in cringe.
No we don't and it's mean to scare ppl for NO reason but personally, although I admit it might sound a bit naive to redditors , its not really constructive to publicly tear down ppl like that someone could find that post here ( reddit isn't exactly unknown and what we say here has consequences in the real word ) and it could hurt his friends or family to see him criticized like that . I agree he's doing something bad but wouldn't it be better to talk with him first in private and actually change his mind instead of posting and mocking people? hates brings more hate to the world and makes it an unbearable place and then hurt ppl will seek protection to the first person who appears to care for them even if their a potential dictator (i dont want to say those who voted for him are stupid but its clear they were manipulated and they wont get any advantages out of the situation and everyone else is scared)
Just some thoughts I wanted to write, sowwy for the length guys you can get back to reading more funny comments 😉
Same, but posted in a stupid spot so it got 0 attention.
This is sad that couldn't ,see her like I do 🤔 I find her cute either way 😘, or even more when she's authentic. I do think with all my ❤️ that we can get , to see people's appearance as attractive as if it set its own standards of beauty. I don't know if u see what I mean? It's like ,you don't judge art with a restricted, immobile ,set of criteria , each piece defines its own world and standards 😋. sum ppl weren't happy about impressionists in painting or serialists in music because it wasn't supposedly "art" but it turns out if your listen/look carefully ,,you can appreciate those and learn something. I hope I'm not being too patronizing 😓 sorry if it looks like it but i have something really important to say and I think it could make everyone's life better, so please read until the end! Okay, so, maybe its because Im a lesbiun👩❤️👩,,and I don't mean that in a antagonizing way we can all get along okay 😇 i think i have an interesting perspective for men here (I assume you are excuse me if im wrong but most readers are ] Anyway all I wanted to say is that i found that most women who 💕 women are more able 2 appreciate unconventional beauty and mainstream standards of beauty r clearly too restrictive and hurtful ; you know there'll always be beautiful women on one side, and the ugly one on the other side of the continuum and a large chunk of the population will feel hurt even if a little every day .But if we tried to put the effort into seeing people appearance standing as their own standard well i think we can all be happier, both when we are judged for our look and when we are judging cauz' will find more people attractive💕💕
edit: hehe hopes it wasnt too long 😆😅 sowy
In reply to a reply to #4.
My aunt confiscated my cousin's computer and wanted to give it to me... Well, I don't want to be uselessly spiteful, but I think their family is dysfunctional and my cousin has a serious problem and needs a psychologist's help , I saw him catching feral cats and huh god this is horirblie to tepy i think he dissects them for fun 🤢 pretending it's for teaching ugh... anyway, it may sound idealistic but I want to repair his mistakes even on the internet so even if that's not really ethical to use someones info and i'm not really good with computers anyway i had a friend check it because i know he programs and maybe put some security on it log keystrokes or self-destruct the battery pack i dunno he told me it seems fine its a "dabian linix" he said i think anyway sowwy it's too long but hey not everyone is out there to get you 😃 dont end up like my cousin pls
I live in the south and there's no lesb dating scene, the only females I see are the old laddies blabbering about Jesus, my dad's cows, my sister and the kids at school. Anime has been my only comfort and honestly I've ended up being a huge weeb, but I've been afraid recently of my sexual frustration and this kind of stuff doesn't help, I want to feel a young girl's soft cheeks on my inner tights, her breath on my lips... I've had recently the same vivid dream about being a loli a martial arts club with other cute girls and the "training" often devolves into sexual intimacy, but last night I was dreaming I was doing a leg lock on my dream-waifu, and it was unusual she had a lot more trouble breathing, but as I woke up I saw I forgot I was actually sleeping with my sister and I've been basically facefucking her. Breakfast was awkward but maybe she wasn't hungry because she ate too much pussy but anyway long story short my parents confiscated my yuru yuri nendoroids. So yeah, I think Alice to Zouroku is awful and a bad influence on young people's minds.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS CUT YOUR GENTIALS OFF
WE WOMEN DON'T HAVE
TO SUFFER YOUR RAPY SEXUALITY
I FUCKING WISH
ALL MEN WOULD DO THIS SO I
AND TEACH EM WHAT TRUE LOVE IS
hihihi i get that a lot from my girlfriend, she's awesome and cute and has a soft flat chest, but she feels bad about it so I sent her this picture I'm not sure she understood it, but yeah basically she loves softly rising my round birds, maybe she's jealous? or she's trying to not get bored of her own body, she doesn't like it it's like noise she says. She reminds me of a loli, i haven't told her but i watched a lot of perverted anime back in the days when birds when singing in my mind, but nowadays she infected me with her fog and now the birds are gone and i feel bad for everything even my love for very young girls although it was pure and never translated to breaking their bodies made of glass. maybe i should buy cat ears and try to communicate with our cat to get a better point of view instead of going on reddit
Edit: I love cats they're like little girls
You people should really stop making fun of legitimate issues, 11203 women are raped each day in alaska and yes this is clearly a war on women, I don't know how else you'd call that. Or are you in denial like the Japanese, who, I remind you, routinely consume pedophilic media and fetishize submissive behavior disguised as cuteness
. Those people are really disgusting to be frankly tbh, I don't know why we still consider them as part of the developed world, they don't even understand christmas' meaning they think it's KFC day. I bet you're also a racist fuck like the Japanese and routinely post on alt-right boards.
Anyway, happy Christmas to all women around the world!
Edit: I see the Japanese Cabal of reddit has decided to downvote me en masse; too bad it only proves my point.
this might sound weird but you should try gettin into the 💗👩❤️💋👩💗 lesbian 💗👩❤️💋👩💗 community we don't behave like that, and I know many str8 women aren't actually str8 they're just a bit slow
sorry but ur imagination sucks u imagine trivial discussions while me and my friends are on slack creating complex universes and roleplaying in them
adults are dull I hope I never become like that 😱
Yeah, I loved it too, in fact I was a fan and collected merchandise my parents and friends thought i was going through a phase a regression into childhood while actually I was repressing my sexual urges and as strange as it sounds I fantasized about pikmins, like they'd crawl all over me and inside my vagina, how I'd have a preferred one i'd carry in my panties throughout the day, found that idea really hot so when I got my first figurine I tried shoving it in, and long story short having to go to a gynecologist for the subsequent infection made me stop my descent into madness
You need to know a little bit of analytical metaphysics to get this one. It was in reply to a reply
to this other post:
ur right about bisexual girls of my age they're must not be really celver not to understand boys will only bring them problems
Ever since I've read On the Plurality of Worlds
I've had wet dreams about finding an accessibility relation so that I could have sex with a counterpart of myself.
oh my god r u 76yo why r u on dis sub
mmh ok ill explain XD
nowadays teenagers are on snapshat alot and our bodies are more than ever the substratum of the intentional force in our speech acts
interacting with ppl on the webs is more involved that it ever was, using text is basically prehistoric
that's why we send nudes alot cuz our body isnt this private shameful thing anymore
i sent a bunch of nudes to my english teacher yesterday cuz she's so cute and we've been messaging back and forth and that's a snapshat streak it means it's get hot as af and thats why there's a flame emoji for streaks
the old social conventions are destroyed
technology is liberating us and sex, race, religion, age are just pointless social constructs we hook up with whoever we want because love is universal
that's waht a snapstreak means
it's the new world
ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ well okay it's fun to make fun of ppl like that but we tend to froget those pppl while they may look liek the typical privileged white male are actualy a dominated segmant of their in group and yeah their bound to say stupid things to get ppppl to like them and gain status in they're in group but their pppppl like us too they got feelings too (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ I dont see the point have shaming them like you do on this board and I say that as a lesbian so I know what it is to be mocked for what you are
that reminds me of when I was playing disgaea (edit: the prinnies always use "dood", for "dude", when they talk) and couldn't further the story because once Flonne, the angel, showed up, I spent most of my time imagining taking her on a date, telling her I love her and shoving her face into my flower and feel her little wings softly rub on tights while I stroke her hair... teehee sowwy went back to those days for a few seconds there *looks around her* I hope my current anime girlfriend doesn't see this messages :$
If people weren't bogged down by rationalism, this wouldn't be a problem. Net neutrality is about material things, but ideas and emotions are free; we can communicate them through words, but as many experiences have shown over and over, our minds extends further than our body. Open minded people can communicate directly, and it even happens sometimes without any training when two people love each other deeply. Because of hate and materialism, we think we need the internet to communicate without obstacles, but if you opened your mind your inner magic could flow freely and meld with the Earth's mana network and you could join us in the real
as ive been trying to explain to this sub many times 😡 knowing whoseg fault it is isnt that easy
thats bcause of institutionalized racism 👮🏻👉🏻👩🏾 white ppl are part of a social system that advantages them so they dont have to worry about being killed at random by cops
ok its true that as a consequence that makes us more virtuous overall because we have to face greater challenges
(cf kant's definition of virtues 💡)
still as a member of one of the most opresssessed group 👩❤️💋👩👩🏿
it's clear that any white that doesnt take part in the destruction of this system of oppression is morally condemnable
just a little something
to make you think
~ T3hBl4ckDYk3 of D3tr01t
edit: of course the privilegied males on reddit are downvoting me
Trolling the trolls
Good riddance, you "downvote trolls" are just assholes randomly latching out at people and then pretending you're being clever and funny. You probably all voted Trump, right?
Edit: so I just got back from modding my airsoft gun (an Elite Force H&K G28 FDE, pricy but I can afford it thanks to buying bitcoins years ago, sorry for those who missed the train, but it's a major development of American Capitalism!) with a raspberry pi zero, nodejs and speakers so that it plays CS sound effects when I shoot, and all I see is bad faith and projection from deeply misguided people. I was like that years ago, bitter and sad, but thanks to the help of /nofap
I shaved my beard, trimmed my nails, got a job, found a beautiful wife and had 3 beautiful children. Quit wasting your time on getting imaginary negative internet points and being mean to people, accept Jesus and help making America Great Again with love instead of fascism!
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